Could we lower the bar a little more, please?

It seems that in the last however many years the bar has been getting lower and lower to define what Christianity is.  Originally it was exactly what it was about - having a relationhip with Jesus Christ, the one way to get to heaven, and having fellowship with our Creator, getting to know Him and getting to know ourselves at the same time.

Then it turned into a ritual where we would go to a building called a church for one sunday a week and then say we're fans of God, go home and do whatever we want to do, and spend the rest of our week sinning, then to come back to church the next week and say sorry and do it all over again.

Then it turned into "Oh well Christians, Jews, and Muslims all have the same God, so if you're one of those denominations then you're fine."

And now it's a matter of whether or not you believe in anything at all.  If you do believe that there is a possibility of a creator then you're good.  And if you just don't believe in anything, then they need to just believe in something and they'll be okay for eternity.

Yeah freaking right.

Why don't we go back to our roots and figure out where we started growing astray?  The church needs direction again from God and not from social influences and political factions.  I'm sick of seeing this.  Anyone else agree?

Dear Mr. Zataran, your dirty rice sucks

I'm not sure if it is called dirty rice because there is something in the rice that makes it taste horrible, or maybe it's because it has the potential to make the back of your pants dirtier than they've ever been, but there is something about that rice that is slightly disturbing to say the least.

P-Steazy, you silly boy

My favorite celebrity got arrested today, unfortunately.  Mr. Patrick Stump got arrested on having an invalid drivers license during a routine police stop.  A lot of people thought this would tarnish his image as beeing a good dude, but this was his statement to MTV:

"All I really have to say is ignorance of the law isn't innocence...I didn't want to give up my Illinois driver's license and was unaware that was a crime. It is, by the way, in the state of California. Lesson learned. I technically broke a law, so technically I deserve whatever I get. But man, is my mom gonna be pissed"

I think this is hilarious, because I did the exact same thing for a few months and never got caught, and I'm doing the same thing now in Minnesota.  But don't tell nobody!

-Brett-

What's the Deal?

I was listening to "Back Home" and thinking all about California, Minnesota, Iowa, and where I belong or never did.  Looking at the seat next to me that was otherwise vacant except for the other half of my take-out Chinese buffet that I didn't get to finish on my half hour break at Best Buy.  9 hours of work is tiring.

As I exit the vehicle I notice a group of people loitering around a house near by, conversing about random stuff.  As I approach them out of necessity due to them blocking the sidewalk, they start a conversation with me.  They all looked homeless, really hungry, and were giving me the once-over and eyeing my take-out, so this was interesting.

And then they start talking to me about drugs....

What the eff?  Anyway, they start talking about how they are "junkies," their words, not mine.  And start talking about all their problems, and one of the guys who is 41 is practically soliciting his daughter out to me.  So I just keep my cool, talk to them about the day, and then they start praising me for being "cool" and having my "shit right and having my head on right."

I guess maybe this story is pointless, but I just don't understand why I all these perceived societal rejects and creepy people are drawn to me, like I'm some underground hero or something.  I enjoy the conversations, but they're always really weird experiences.  I don't know of this stuff happening to other people.

Anyway....just another day in the life...

The Internet Makes Me Sick

I watched the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in my life today.

As I was surfing the internet I decided to stop at one of my familiar sites, Phil Defranco's site at phillyd.tv. He posted a video of a student of martial artist Bobby Joe Blythe who attacked and stomped down a homeless man who claimed to be taught martial arts by Jesus.

This man was obviously mentally handicapped, and he several times told the student to stop attacking him, but ultimately the student knocked the homeless man down, out, and stomped his head several times, and the man was taken to the dumpster out behind the "dojo."

Pardon my French, but that is fucking disgusting. What kind of rights do people think they have that they can use martial arts to kill homeless people. This is murder.

This just reinforces how awful this world is, how controlled this world is by sin, and how ludicrous these people are. On one hand, I think it is good that the internet can expose these freaking nut jobs to the world, and I sure hope justice is served on Bobby Joe Blythe and that student, and I think it is good that the internet is exposing the kind of craziness that this world is filled with, but I also believe that the interent is making our culture even more hard-hearted, calloused, disturbing, and disgusting.

Within seconds of this video being posted on Phil DeFranco's site I see comments such as "haha, he had it coming," "lulz," "haha that's crazy," and things of that nature. Have people really lost their hearts and minds? I think some people have really lost what it is to be human and have reverted to an animalistic sense of being, and this is horrifying to me.

Seriously, how can seeing another man die right in front of you be material worth laughing at? Sad....very sad...

Tonight was one of the most insane nights of my life, and I want to write this down before I forget about what happened.

I walked outside my apartment to sit down, chill out, and smoke a newport. So as I sit outside, not 30 seconds later a gentleman was struggling down the street trying to find Nicollet avenue, even though he thought it was Nicholas avenue. So after about 45 minutes of talking to him, we finally came to the agreement that I was coherent and it was nicollet avenue.

Up until that point in time, I was getting a bit impatient, because there's only so much I can handle, but God kept reminding me of patience, so I kept it. He sat down to enjoy a newport with me, and was just shooting the crap with me. So I just made the comment, "You know, God is so good dude" and so we started talking about God. I asked him how he felt and all this stuff, and he was telling me how he was sick with Emphazema and COPD (great thing to find out later that I offered him a Newport) but no matter. I prayed for him and prayed this stuff out of his body, and he started breaking down crying. During this time God told me the word "AIDS" and I was just like, "he has this?" and thought nothing of it after that.

So fast forward past me seeing his entire 15 member family, various conversations about his visions, his vices, and telling me his whole life story, and we get to a sensitive topic. He tells me he hasn't been completely honest with me. I am curious, and I say "what's up?" and he says "I've been with the same woman for 33 years...and my family...they love me. But man, I'm HIV positive." At that point my mind was absolutely blown all over the pavement. I thought it was insane that God already told me all this stuff about him and HIV....just crazy! I shared with him some of my testimony so he knew that what I was saying was legitimate, and he got goosebumps all over his body and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. Then I prayed for him, and he cried some more, and we had a huge celebration.

I invited him to church on friday and sunday, and he left feeling healthy, happy, and refreshed. I am just so glad I got this opportunity to pour out love on this guy, and I'm glad I listened to God and my intuition. This guy even told me I was the only person he had, and he was talking about suicide and killing his daughter, and he was so happy that I talked with him and God was with him tonight.


So God officially blew my mind today. It just goes to show you how big a difference the smallest thing can make. I absolutely love God for His heart, how he wants to heal the sick and heal the broken-hearted like this guy I met (named Lorell). I also thank God for letting me meet a guy like him and be able to take some wisdom from this experience. Amen!


Brett

Words

I think "sibilance" is such a cool word. I have no idea why, honestly. I just love words so much.

Language in general is just so beautiful and interesting. Sometimes it only takes a word or two to make your point much more effectively than saying a paragraph or several. On top of that, I find language to be so beautiful in its imperfections, because even though we seem to think that our words make us effective communicators, it is actually our body that does the majority of the talking.

So some day maybe I'll write a book. Or maybe I'll finally finish some songs. Either way, I want to blow some minds with what I say in the lyrics or words and with what I don't say between the notes or sentences or phrases.


You just can't find beauty like that in the worldly things, you absolutely can't.

I don't understand why this relationship is so passive-aggressive. The excessive procrastination and the deep-seeded hatred that I'm experiencing. Letting this familiar enemy into my home in some sort of hope that they would change the error of their ways, all the while furthermore hoping that I'd change mine.

However, things are not improving. I fall short of the simplest promises I've made to myself, and I hope that I improve. My effort is insufficient and my heart is hard, so I guess I'll just sulk in this regret while pondering what I could do differently. Hopefully this won't perpetuate any guilt or a loss of worth...but we shall see.

Negativity, brohams

I realized that I've been a bit too negative about life.

I hear about how life sucks all the time from people, and to be honest I've done my fair share of partaking in this sort of behavior. Honestly, sometimes life does really suck, and this world isn't perfect. But the thing is, the beautiful thing is, we get to experience life, be it in the good or bad. Regardless, I'm happy to have the experience to experience the good things, such as the bright sun on a warm day, or the smell of the myriad of flowers I pass by while walking to my regular coffee shop, or the interesting people I meet every now and then. Its good stuff, and I want to find more beauty in the everyday simplicity in life.

Being a Radical

Today while in reverie, I have done some heavy weighing of myself and what I stand for. I have come to the conclusion that I have limited confidence in my art, and I am too afraid of expressing myself because of what some people may think of me.

The fact is, little change yields little result, and big changes yield big results. No matter what way I slice it, someone isn't going to like me. Maybe I can be more respected for the fact that I express myself rather than holding back out of fear of what others may think about me.

So tonight, I'm sayin' "eff it" and reinventing myself so that I can benefit and so that the world can get to know me after I have opened up to it.

Wavemaker

So I wrote an outro piece a while back that I had no name for, but today I decided to write a poem to lie underneath that instrumental piece in a lo-fi quality or whatever, and it'd sound really distant and cool. So here are the lyrics to it, and it will be posted soon on my myspace.


WAVEMAKER:
As I laid my eyes out to sea, I saw a figure looking back at me.
soft, secure, and everything I wanted to be.

for a moment in time I forgot who I was, where I'd been, and what I stood for.
but it didn't really matter, because I had the answer metaphorically knocking at my door.

soft eyes, a pleasant smile, gazing into my eyes and furthermore in my soul. How could I escape that? The light radiating purple and gold on the darkest night, a story so unfamiliar and never told to me...

this casket had been in front of me for too long. I had one foot in, one foot out, and not a second hint of doubt. with the gun laid next to me, a rope in my hand, and a bottle next to my other, I couldn't decide which direction I wanted to go, which path I may take, which would break me faster and less painfully.


Stifling? No, chains were broken. Bondage was freed of me, and it slipped away from me knowingly, that it never even had me, but I let it take me to wherever it wanted to be, or not take me anywhere, seemingly indefinitely, you know? I guess that's how it is some times.

But this new figure, bright and stunning, furthermore intelligent and cunning, wearing robes of glory and taking solace and refuge in the tabernacle of goodness, spoke out to me, forcefully, lovingly and said...

"I want you...follow me, and you will be more than you ever imagined you could be"

and that night, the animals howled in the moonlight, screaming and purring to the moon and the stars, forging their cries for help, as if a shrill screech and an empty head or heart would save them, and the wavemaker, this beautiful wavemaker, He carried me away in the waves of the starry mural painted in front of me.

and I left, far away, and I never wanted to return to the beach front that was littered with fragments of everything I used to be, and we remained symbiotic for eternity.

I had an emo moment today

I'm getting lost in my thoughts and vanity
and while everything is coming back to me
I can't sit still

I'm facing the expected deposition
and I'm sitting in the supposition
or uncertainty, if you will

I fell again, far from reckoned grace
laid suspended in danger's face
force-fed choruses and messages
and presumed impressions


lay me out on the ground outside
and ready the surgical gear to remove inside
the fragments

my body was shattered and infested
with the demons interested and stuck
in ligaments


and in the moment we're symbiotic
you've given me what I needed
my blood was pumped with this narcotic
that held all the words I heeded

I've gained the momentum to continue
on and to finally find refuge in
the unknown

and I'm vain and retrospective
and overconfident in my perspective
radiating glory

forgive me for the things that I've said
for reiterating and being misread
I don't have the time to dabble and pretend
I'm finally on my way, and this is the end

When you feel stifled and strangled

you need to get the fudge out. Get in a different environment and expand your possibilities.

My Thoughts on Faith

Faith: what you believe to be true about God.

This is what faith really is in Hebrew. So I offer you this analogy:

Think of it this way. If you're like, "Hey I would like friends" but you think "Well, they better come to me, cause I'm not coming to them" how many friends are you going to make? None.


God is a bit different, as He is willing to come to us on a daily basis, and most definitely does. However, we tend to blame our deficient communication with God on Him and not on ourselves. Ever the skeptics, we humans sure enjoy placing blame on anyone or anything but ourselves.

So instead of shouting from the hill tops that God is not real, how about having a conversation with Him or offering yourself to Him and saying, "Hey, just talk to me. I want to know that you are real." It truly depends on your attitude. If someone puts a hundred dollars in your face and you don't want to believe it is there, you won't believe it is there. But if you're open to the possibility of a hundred dollars being in front of your face, then you will start to see things a bit more clearly.

I've been keeping voice memos of every idea I get musically, and I've found that I come up with tons of ideas between 6pm and 9pm, and 11pm to about 3am. I've decided to make the most of this time and keep it free so that my ideas can flow naturally and without inhibition.

We got the jazz

I would really like to get a sweet sound system and just chill in total darkness with a cigarette in hand listening to smooth jazz. I just think the two red lights from the cigarette butt and the stereo would look like a robot with a lazy eye.

Also, smooth jazz always sounds great in the dark. It sounds like a relaxing time.

Healthy Eating

I hear this statement all the time:

"I'd really like to eat healthy, but its just way too expensive."

I used to think this too, until I actually took a trip to the grocery store and discovered that fresh fruit is actually a lot less expensive than you think. Also, when you eat these fresh fruits and vegetables, you really don't need as much food as you usually think you do.

I picked up the following today in order to make myself parfaits this week:

1.92 lb of Red Seedless grapes - $2.86
1.09 lb of Bananas - $0.60
1 large container of Strawberries - $1.50
1 large container of Blueberries - $1.50
1 32 oz. container of low fat vanilla yogurt - $2.00

TOTAL: $8.46

plus if you want to throw some granola on all that, and an extra 5 bucks for a huge box of granola. You're lookin' at the ability to make a lot of large parfaits. In comparison to McDonald's $1 parfaits, you could easily make 13 of them, if not more, and they'd be much better for you.

Also, a while back I bought a loaf of bread for 2 bucks, a jar of peanut butter for 4 (tops), and you have yourself a lot of peanut butter sandwiches, which are full of protein and carbs - necessary for life.

So I'm just saying its not as hard as everyone thinks it is.