I don't understand why this relationship is so passive-aggressive. The excessive procrastination and the deep-seeded hatred that I'm experiencing. Letting this familiar enemy into my home in some sort of hope that they would change the error of their ways, all the while furthermore hoping that I'd change mine.

However, things are not improving. I fall short of the simplest promises I've made to myself, and I hope that I improve. My effort is insufficient and my heart is hard, so I guess I'll just sulk in this regret while pondering what I could do differently. Hopefully this won't perpetuate any guilt or a loss of worth...but we shall see.